👶 Our First Placement

 As a part of the licensing procedure, you are asked to select what ages, genders, and races you would prefer as well as if you are open to taking a child with medical needs. We were pretty open with our selections and only requested that the children be ages birth to 7 and we also specified that we would really love either a baby or a sibling group. Everyday sibling groups are being split up into different homes because there are not enough foster families and their houses are already too full to take on a sibling set. We want to try to help keep siblings together even if we can only help one family at a time. We also specified NO medical placements. 

Just a few weeks after the new year began, I received a text from our licensing worker that simply stated.

 “ I have a 4month old with a shunt and a Gtube, is this something you think you could handle?”

I was in the middle of something and forwarded the text to Jazmine. She called our licensing worker to get more information. Jazmine called me shortly after with pretty much the same information that the text message had eluded to and she stated that the child was currently in the NICU but ready to be discharged soon. 

As soon as we started our journey to foster care I knew that we had to make wise choices. Although the primary goal of foster care is reunification of birth parents and kids, Jazmine and I both agreed that any child we took in, we had to be prepared to take care of for an indefinite amount of time. This meant lots of prayer went into our decision to move forward with a placement. 

That very morning I had read a page in my daily devotional book and it stated, 

“ Dear Lord, show me the people in my life that need my generosity. Show me those who need my time, my prayers and my encouragement.”

This baby was the very opposite of our requested, “NO medical placements”, but after talking and praying we made the decision to say yes to our very first placement. “How much clearer could God be, right?!”

The next 72 hours were a whirlwind. The NICU was already closed to visitors for the evening so I headed home.I reached out online to see if anyone had a car seat or any clothes available. We didn’t know what size baby girl would be but we knew she would come with nothing. Yes  We re-arranged some things in the house and did a deep clean of everything. I called into work and let them know I would be going to pick up our new foster baby the next day and that I would be taking a leave of absence. They always tell you that things in foster care change quickly and that until a child crosses your doorstep it’s not a done deal but I was so excited I could not wait!

 The next morning I got a call from the hospital social worker and was told to come to the hospital for baby girl. Jazz and I both drove into the hospital and worked our way through the security to get to the NICU. You are asked a million questions about a child whom you haven’t even met and all you can state is their first and last name, and that you are foster parents. After getting ID name tags we made our way up to the NICU and met the most precious baby girl. 

It was immediately clear that there was more going on medically than we were originally told. The number one rule in foster care seems to be, always expect that there is more to the story than you are originally told. Baby girls nurse on the first day was absolutely incredible. She had known her from shortly after she was born and had jumped on and off her case during her NICU stay. She gave us so many details about baby girl as well as some great tips and tricks for her care. She loaded up our stroller with so many goodies to take home for our new venture into parenthood. Often times when you get a new placement you have very few details about the child’s medical history and life. We are so incredibly blessed to have gotten so much  info from this nurse and it would prove invaluable to me at future doctors appointments. 

For the rest of the day we met doctor after doctor as people filed in and out of the room filling us in on different parts of baby girls conditions. As I tried to take notes and absorb all of the information my mind was focused on only the facts. At one point the nurse showed me how to pick her up with all of her wires and accessories. I have been an infant teacher for years but holding this baby felt completely different. She was stiff and unsure about human contact. Spending most of her life in the NICU attached  to various machines, she wasn’t very used to being held. This is when I first began to get nervous and wonder just what had we gotten into. “We’re we ready for this? We’re we capable of this?!” By the end of the day I had collected a binder full of notes, things to watch for, emergency instructions and more. We were still waiting on insurance  to send a pump for her Gtube so we weren’t able to take her home that day. We packed up our things and said goodbye to her nurse. I was surprisingly emotional as we said goodbye since I could see the love this particular nurse had for this sweet baby. We left that night, exhausted, worried and overwhelmed. 

Gone was the initial excitement of receiving our first placement. It was replaced by determination to prove we were capable of showing the nurses we had it all under control and concern that maybe we had taken on a case we were not ready for. Even so, I was prepared to return bright and early the next day in order to be there for rounds and so that I could spend as much time as possible practicing some hands on care with baby girl. 

Jazmine had to be at work the following day so I returned alone the next morning to meet the doctors at morning rounds and to administer her next g tube feeding. Armed with all of the new knowledge from the day before I came in with as much confidence as I could muster. I successfully preformed her morning feeding and met with some more doctors, therapists and nurses. Before her final discharge Jazmine was able to meet me at the hospital to help load everything in the car. Baby girl slept peacefully as we walked out of the hospital but as I was warned, she became hysterical once she realized she was stuck in her car seat. She proceeded to cry the entire 45 minute drive home and I sobbed right along with her. I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to provide what she needed, terrified I wasn’t capable of caring for her medical complexities and terrified that we had taken on more then we could handle.

The first few weeks were tough as we figured each other out and as she learned how to function in the world outside of the NICU. We learned her likes and dislikes and looked on as she blossomed! 

The morning after we brought her home I read this:

“When children are born, the most significant part in shaping their identities is knowing to whom they are born. They will also continue to be molded by where they are and who they have to nurture them as they grow. We all have different stories regarding this. We have birth parents and the circumstances of our conception can be labeled anything from desired to unwanted but we are all children of God.”

This passage could not have been more fitting and I could not be more grateful for all we have gained from caring for this first placement. I didn’t think I was capable of caring for a child with medical complexities. This baby has shown me I am capable of not only that but so much more. She has also taught me that it doesn’t matter whose child you are caring for, you will fall head over heels in love and be just as protective of them as if they were your own flesh and blood.